Halloween 2006

Mariah, aka Insane Mama, @ Help I Have A Teenager is having a contest.....before she sadly takes down her blog. She loves Halloween and just wants us to post one of our Halloween stories for entry to win one of her amazing prizes. So, this is my entry.....

Two years ago was my most memorable Halloween.

The St. Louis Cardinals had just won the World Series.

I had just completed all the finishing touches on Zander's room.

And I looked like this:

I had a doctor's appt that morning and he told me once again....nothing had changed. I was not effaced and I was not dilated. So he sent me home and said he would have the hospital call me to schedule my induction for the next week. He and I had been arguing about my due date for quite some time. You see, my initial due date was 11-8...but when I got my ultrasound at 5 mos....it showed the due date to be 11-2. I liked that 2nd date better.....but he was being a jerk conservative. He promised though that he would not let me go over my due date. I think he knew I was plotting some sort of maiming against him if I did.

So, I went home. Mission Impossible III had just come out on dvd that week. So I sat and watched that while eating some pizza rolls. About 1/2 way through the movie I started feeling sick. I could not get comfortable. I didn't feel contractions....not that I would know what those felt like....I hadn't even had any Braxton Hicks - just a lot of what felt like menstrual cramps.

I ignored this sick feeling for awhile but it was getting worse. By the time my parents came home.....I knew I needed to go to the hospital. My niece was there as she was supposed to go to class that night and she was dropping off Dara for my mom to watch.....but she was so excited she skipped school.

We all got to the hospital and I was ticked off because, seriously, did my mom need to drive like a slow old lady???? Couldn't I have waddled down the highway faster than she was driving. No, I know.....but it felt like it.

So, at this particular hospital, which we in St. Louis call "the baby factory", you don't go to the ER or to Labor and Delivery - you go to the Woman's Evaluation Center.

My mom, dad and Dara went to park the car while Nikki and I headed to the WEC. I had already preregistered so surely they would take me right in, right? Not so fast....I had to stand at the nurses desk while she asked me all the same questions I had already answered. Yes, that's right....stand. Mind you at this point...back labor had started. So, I had the worst "menstrual cramps" known to man and back labor.

Her last question to me (I'm not sure it was the actual last question on her list, but it was definitely her last question) was "Do you have a living will?"

Me: What?

Nurse: Do you have a living will?

Me: Why do I need that?

Nurse: Just in case anything were to happen.

Me: How about this? (screaming) DON'T. KILL. ME!!!

Nikki: I think we need a room now.

So, we got in our room....and waited....15 minutes....before anyone even came in to check on me. Meanwhile, Nikki is timing my contractions. No point....they are on top of each other....I can hardly breathe and I think I've lost my mind. It was one of those feelings like everything is happening to your body...but you are not in your body anymore. You are hovering above it like a spirit and you are just watching it all happen.

So, as I said, this WEC was a place that women went to for the hospital to determine whether or not the woman was really in labor or whether it was just Braxton Hicks. Nikki thought it was way too hot in the room....and I thought it was about 900 degrees. Of course I felt like I had to go to the bathroom.....there was ONE bathroom for the whole center. Now what ingenious man designed this area????? A bunch of pregos in labor fighting for one bathroom????

Well, it turns out I really didn't need the bathroom. Because of the back labor, I started vomiting....and every time I vomited...guess what? I peed.....wherever I was....on the bed...on the floor...wherever. You know what else? I.Didn't.Care!!!!

After the first couple of nurses came in they joked with each other about who my doctor was. One nurse made the other one guess. (hahahaha (sarcastic laugh)....you trolls...I'm in no mood for your game. ) Then one nurse informed me that I still hadn't dilated....I needed to 'get busy and start dilating'.

So, tell me.....how does one make oneself dilate???? Does it help to slap around stupid nurses? I would have gladly tried that.

Then as I'm sitting in the room with my mom this male midwife comes in and informs me, as I'm vomiting and peeing, that cramps aren't "real" contractions. And if I don't start dilating soon, I'm going to have to go home and come back later when "real" contractions start.

Now, my mother was rather nice and said "Sir, I'm not sure how many children you've had, but I've delivered two 9 lb babies. I had cramps, not contractions, with both of them and they came out just fine."

I on the other hand told him "If you think you can get me in the car, I'll leave." It was more of a dare, I suppose.

Hmmm.....he left and I never saw him again.

At that point, I was huddled on the cold tile floor in a ball....I just felt better that way. They wanted me to get back in the bed so they could monitor my baby...I didn't want to move. I remember saying over and over "I want drugs."

One hour after I was first checked I had dilated 4cm. I was gonna get my drugs.

They gladly, I'm sure transferred me up to Labor and Delivery.....my angel came with my epidural......and my spirit, that had been hovering above before, was sucked back into my body. I was me again!!!

My nurse in L&D was wonderful! She took very good care of Zander and me. My good experience here far out weighed my bad experience in the Women's Eval Center.

I wanted this baby out....I wanted to see my little boy.....I was soooo ready.

But I did not want a Halloween baby!

Well, it turns out, a series of events occurred and it slowed down my labor......so I got my wish! My little man was born the next morning.