***I wrote this post in the beginning of June and for some reason never hit publish. I think I was going to add something, but I just read it and I like it the way it is. I really needed to read this today too....as I needed some "perspective"....***
I'm very lucky to belong to a group at my church called Generate. It is for single moms - for any woman that has been or currently is a single mom, or was even raised by a single mom. It is run by some some of the women in the church that feel a need to meet to give us support. We meet the last Saturday of every month. Dinner is provided, there are games and then a speaker.
Its a nice way for me to be able to meet other single moms, hear other stories whether they are similar to mine or not, or to just even gain perspective on things.
The theme for this past weekend's gathering was "Joy". Our speaker, Joan, told her story of how her mother left her when she was 2 years old and how her stepmom has raised her since she was 6 and even now how she thinks of her stepmom as her Mother.
She told us of different issues she faced as she grew up, how she managed when she was a single mom and how she came to see joy in everything - how every bad thing that happened, eventually led to something joyful in her life.
Again, perspective.
I do not feel that being a single mom has been a "bad thing" in my life. At times it definitely hasn't been easy, but being a mother isn't always easy anyway. But, who said it was going to be easy - its an awesome responsibility!!!
And, turns out, the best thing that has EVER happened to me!
We always get to take a memento away from the evening, so we can remember our time together that month. This month is was a magnet...I took 2...because well, I did! Anyway, I'll keep one at home and one at work. Maybe it will help me to keep things in perspective when I can't seem to find the joy.
68 comments:
I was a single mother for 7 years. Those were some of the most joy filled times of my life. They truly were a gift from God.
I am not a single mother, and I cannot imagine doing everything alone. I have nothing but respect and admiration for you.
Thanks, Christy...that is so nice of you to say. Thankfully I get a lot of help from my parents...I don't know how single mommys do it with no family around.....
I would've taken 2 magnets, too. Because they're super cute. And you deserve two, since you're doing the work of 2 parents.
Parenting is not an easy job, but it's also he most rewarding thing that you may ever do. Itsounds like you are doing a wonderful job.
Before I became a mother I spent years in management positions in a variety of jobs. Always had a group of about eight to ten women working for me. Now, that's an arguement waiting to happen every single minute. Constantly running around trying to be pro-active. Do you think that management experience helped get me ready to be a mother? Hell, no. Bickering kids are louder, hold grudges longer, and often pee standing. Crabby employees go home at night, the kids just keep lingering.
It's hard enough without being single, so hats off to you (no I'm not wearing a hat at 6am....;) It's great that you have this group and such lovely support...
Good on ya for keeping your perspective.
What a great group your church has! It sounds like a very inspiring and supportive ministry.
Cheers!
I am so glad you that you have a group of Godly women surrounding you and looking out for you. And yes, Joy can be found in any circumstance, and I know Zander =joy. Most days anyway ;)
This is a lovely post and it is wonderful that your church has a ministry for single mothers!
Good for you - you deserve a fridge FULL of magnets! Hats off to ya, SITSta.
After several long TDY's and deployments for my husband I'm convinced that being a single mom is the single most hardest job there is.
As you know, I'm a single mom like you and I would say it was really hard in the beginning because Ned was only 9 months old, but now, I feel like it is just the two of us that we have to look out for and I don't have another child (a man!) to take care of, just the one! It's not easy, but it can be so rewarding and I think you are doing a brilliant job!
Hi, visiting via SITS! I think it takes tremendous strenth to commit to any long-term life activity alone, parenting, running a business, caring for an elderly parent, etc. You are lucky to have a great support group around you!
Keep up the good work!... And the JOY! :-)
WHAT CHURCH IS THIS?? I may have to move. A CHURCH THAT ACKNOWLEDGES SINGLE MOMS??? You mean the opposite of my church that when I became a single mom treated me like a leper????
YEAH for your church. That is fabulously WONDERFUL!!!!!
Wow, cool church!
I was a single mom for years (just got remarried last year when my kid was 17) and I always felt out of place in my church. But, it sounds like y'all have it going on!
What a wonderful idea. I am glad you have a support system when so many do not.
Happy SITS feature!
What an awesome message. Find joy!
You single moms ROCK. I don't know how you do it. My sister is a single mom and she is amazing as I sure you are too.
That is a great thing for your church to do for single moms and others who need a safe place to share and give and receive support. Zander is a lucky boy to have a mom that not only takes care of him but also takes care of herself. So many moms, single or otherwise don't do that.
I was a single mom for awhile as well ... and it taught me independence, courage and strength and tenacity.
That is an awesome ministry! You're so smart to take care of yourself by participating. LOVE the magnets! We should all have one.
That is great that your church has this ministry. I can't imagine how you do it. Love this post.
Awesome! So glad you have support, especially when you need it most!
Sounds like a great support group you have!!
I'm glad that your church has this. I'm thankful to be a part of a church that ministers to and loves on the many single moms that are around. It couldn't be easy!
Joy in all circumstances...yes, that's what we're called to in Christ. Great reminder.
I've been a single mom twice now.
The 1st time, divorce & the 2nd time a widow.
Neither time was easy but we can do it & it is a great reward.
I am also a single mother. Though it is hard I feel so blessed in many ways.
~j~
It is great that you have a group, like this at church. We all need support. We do all need to remember to focus on joy in our life. Thanks.
Being that I feel like a single mom most of the time, it really does occur to me how very hard it would be if I REALLY were a single mom. I totally give you kudos!
Thanks for sharing your joy with us.
Happy SITS day!
I certainly do wish you joy in motherhood and any other endeavor you undertake.
As many others have said, I have a great amount of respect for single moms! One of my close friends is a single mom and she amazes me everyday!
I can barely manage being a wife and a SAHM as it is. Kuddos to those of you that work outside of the home and double to the single mothers. I am glad to see you have the support of your parents...something I wish I could say.
I was a single mom for 5.5 years and while it was one of the hardest 5.5 years I have ever experoenced, it is also the time that taught me most about myself and my son. And some of my best memories are fo the things we succeeded at during that time. I wish I had a group like this to meet with during that time. Thanks for showing us it's all about the joy.
I have been a single mom now for 2 years and it's not easy. I am glad for you that you have this avenue to get some support.
Parenting is hard enough with a spouse. I admire you for doing it as a single mom. What a great group to be a part of!
Some of my favorite moms are single...my mom included. So glad you are part of such a great group that helps you see what a fabulous mom you are!!!
Again Happy SITS Day.
WOW very touching. Glad you are able to have a support group. I beleive all WOMEN should have one.
What a nice message and a nice magnet! I think that's wonderful you have a support group. In this day and age, we have to do what works, and there should not be stigmas associated with single parenting. It's hard enough without that! That being said, I haven't been single, but my hubby went to live in a different city for law school (long story) and I was basically a single parent for a while. It was TOUGH.
It's true, I wouldn't be the person that I am today without all the hardships I've gone through.
Cute magnets!
What a wonderful group you belong too...it's nice to spend time with people that understand what you're going through completely.
You amaze me! You are so put together and you do it alone...Zander is one lucky little boy to have you!
It's so neat that you have a place to go where you are supported and encouraged. I love those cute little magnets!
I was a single mom of 4 for years- married now to someone who is a better dad than the sperm donor ever was.
Glad you have a good support system, I've lived places where it was just me and my kids and while always an adventure, it was not the easiest way to do things.
Enjoying your blog and Z is adorable.
I'm not a single mom but I think we all need to stick together and support each other. This is a great group and a great post.
I'm glad you have a group to help support you through all it takes to get to the "joyful" in you life.
Finding perspective can be hard sometimes. It's wonderful that you've got a place to go where you can find it and feel supported. Great post.
That's great that you have a place like that. I love the little magnets. We all need to find the joy in our lives. Sometimes it's overlooked, but it's always there for us in some way or another.
Congrats Again!
I think it's awesome that your church has something like that. Not all churchs feel it necessary to reach out to those women.
I have been a single Mom off and on for almost 17 years. I'm currently in a relationship but I believe it has run it's course.
Being a single Mom has never bothered me, I actually revel in it. It's a true chance to show both my kids that I love them more than life itself. I just hope that I have raised them well enough to find true love one day and never have to be that single parent. I love all the one on one time I get to spend with both of them.
I feel like I get a glimpse into life as a single mom when my hubby is out of town. I always am so thankful when he returns. I soooo incredibly admire single moms who rise above the circumstances and "do it anyway." Jesus is the true source of joy. All other sources fade. Circumstances will change, but He won't. That's why we must find our joy in HIM and HIM alone.
That is a great story!
Congrats on being featured today :)
Sigh.
I need to go back to church.
What an awesome group to have at a church!!!
Those magnets are cute!
Finding JOY in the little things are like Tender Mercies from God - another way to know He Loves US!!!
This is wonderful. I'm so glad you have such an amazing support group, and I find it so refreshing to read about the ways you find joy.
I love it when women are supporting each other instead of tearing each other down. How lovely for you to have such a group!
And yay to you for taking two magnets ;)
I give you a lot of credit. I'm glad this program is there for you and that you've taken advantage of it :)
Mt heart is all warm and fluttery... I love that your church is accepting and loving of all... kind of like Jesus... eh?
I ma so glad that you have such wonderful support. You are a terrific mom and Z is one lucky little boy.
What a great support group! I love to see moms being there for each other; maybe that's why I love blogging so much!
I have been a single mother of 4 and I know it is very difficult. I still have an uninvolved ex that has never been there for our children but now I am blessed with a husband that treats those children like his very own. You are a strong person to do iton your own and I wish you the best!
Thanks for this post. It's just yet another reminder of how strong women really are, even without a partner. A single mommy myself, I too have a great support system and am very thankful for that!
Take care :)
I'm truly in awe of single moms. Even with help from family and friends, I still can't imagine how I would do it, if in that situation. Zander is a lucky boy to have a great mom like you! :-)
Those magnets are CUTE! I was a single mom for about 2 years after my ex left me with 2 little girls. I lived in CA, was in the Navy while all of my family was in OH. I eventually found a really nice man to help me and my girls and we both got orders to VA. We are now married and have a son together. He is wonderful with my girls and to me. Single momhood wasn't so nice to me though. Going through a divorce, working full time and trying to make time for my girls without any other support was just stressful. Good to see you have such awsome support with your family.
cute magnets
My sister is the only person I know in real life who is single with 2 kids. I see how hard she works & how much she loves her children. Nothing but admiration for you here!
What a sweet post. I can only imagine the heartache that comes sometimes. You know, I wish my mom had mustered the strength to "be single." She took the easy way out and stayed married so she'd have someone to blame for all her problems- ruined her family's lives in the process, and apologized for nothing.
I truly admire women who are doing their best with what they've got (and are healthy enough to admit when they don't do their best.) It seems that true joy is achieved when we're honest with ourselves.
I'm glad you're finding that joy from time to time. Here's to more often than not ;-)
WOW, I don't know how you do it!! SIngle MOMs rock!
Stay Strong!
I, too, am a single mom. I'm divorced and their dad doesn't take much interest in them, except to reluctantly pay child support.
Thanks for this great post. Sometimes, all we need is a little perspective.
Thanks, SITSa!
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